shyla_n_tiana asked:
that I’m an unfit mother because I work in the day, and now, since he left me, I have a nightime job cocktail serving because i make ends meet with that p/t job. So now I’m unfit? I’m just trying to survive since he cut me off from our joint account and I’m on my own now. Do you think the judge will think I’m unfit because I have 2 jobs? Not enough time with my children? He’s scarring me. I don’t want them to get taken away from me. I raised them for 5 years, that I’ve been home. ( i work out of the home for my daytime job) while he works. And now we’ve been having a lot of disagreements, arguements, and i just dont want to fight anymore. I always try to resolve things w/him w/o the kids hearing all of this. But he makes sure that it’s out in the open. What am i to do?
that I’m an unfit mother because I work in the day, and now, since he left me, I have a nightime job cocktail serving because i make ends meet with that p/t job. So now I’m unfit? I’m just trying to survive since he cut me off from our joint account and I’m on my own now. Do you think the judge will think I’m unfit because I have 2 jobs? Not enough time with my children? He’s scarring me. I don’t want them to get taken away from me. I raised them for 5 years, that I’ve been home. ( i work out of the home for my daytime job) while he works. And now we’ve been having a lot of disagreements, arguements, and i just dont want to fight anymore. I always try to resolve things w/him w/o the kids hearing all of this. But he makes sure that it’s out in the open. What am i to do?
Tags: Jobs | Lot | Unfit Mother
June 22nd, 2010 at 3:59 am
Walk into court and ask the judge if you two can have 50/50 custody. That is the fair thing to do. Plus it makes sense for you and the kids.
June 23rd, 2010 at 6:35 pm
They ALWAYS like to threaten they will take the kids.
Unless you are on ***** and turning tricks in the living room, a mother almost always will not lose her kids.
He is just jealous you are working in a bar.
June 26th, 2010 at 11:55 pm
I hope you have a good lawyer!
That being said, usually to court decides in the mother’s favour, so you have that on him. I don’t think the court will see you as a unfit mother. Is he paying child support (the PROPER amount)? And spousal support to you? If he’s not, he’s just digging a hole for himself.
June 29th, 2010 at 4:03 am
Letting the kids know about this argument is horrible.
The chhildren tend to take on the pain even when it is an amiable divorce. Your husband needs to fork out more child support so you can stay home more… anyway, your day job is at home.
I say.. document every argument. Every time he includes the kids…etc.
You go, girl!! Be proud of all your effort. Don’t let this oaf bring you down………
…………..But make sure all your ducks are in a row for court!!
July 2nd, 2010 at 3:09 am
An unfit Mother is one that disappears for days at a time, without notice… puts her children in harms way… or spends a lot of her time drunk and or on drugs…. etc… These are ideas of an unfit Mother…. Plus, he has to repeatably prove it.
I would say that you’re a wonderful Mother. You’re working 2 jobs to make sure bills are paid and your kids have a place to call home. Go to court, head held high, and proud. You’re doing a great job.
July 4th, 2010 at 5:45 am
Get alimony and child support. You shouldn’t need two jobs. He is selfish…and is threatening you to keep your eyes off the fact that he isn’t holding up his side as the father.
You have nothing to fear. Tell him that you are going to take him to court for more money.
July 5th, 2010 at 8:51 am
Some of us men are really jerks when it comes to divorce and child custody but don’t be afraid because the court will side i your favor if you have a half-way decent lawyer! You are not unfit! You are holding 2 jobs and are doing everything to make ends meet. All things will be taken into consideration before the judge makes a final ruling.
July 8th, 2010 at 6:22 pm
Speaking as a couples therapist/divorce mediator, joint legal custody is generally the norm with the exception of cases of abuse, neglect, etc where the courts remove children for their own protection. I know it’s stressful, but his attempts are likely just threats. But you need to get an attorney asap and fight him. Also, talking with an attorney will help relieve your anxiety and fear of the unknown.
Good luck! And try these helpful guides:
Children and Divorce:
Divorce Advice:
July 11th, 2010 at 1:50 pm
i told u unless u on drugs really bad leaving them home alone,then he just talking to scare u.
July 13th, 2010 at 4:27 pm
Get a lawyer to fight him. One thing you didn’t mention is how much child support he is paying.
He may be trying to duck out of paying child support by trying to get primary custody of the kids.
No you aren’t an unfit parent, and the judge can’t judge you on what type of jobs you are holding down. But he may look at the time you are away from your children. But I don’t see your husband being a better parent. He probably works two jobs as well.
July 14th, 2010 at 10:48 pm
Im so sorry to hear what your going trough. I’ve been there. Get a good lawyer. Keep records of everything. Keep your head up don’t let your kids see you defeated. Don’t let him get you down. Going in to court not asking to much just what is best for the kids. If the judge sees him acting all huffy and puffy it won’t fly. If you ever need someone to talk to that nows how you feel, feel free to IM me or email. I hope that helps and good luck.
July 17th, 2010 at 2:28 am
Tell the judge you want JOINT custody with YOU as the PHYSICAL custody which means they LIVE with you but can go visit him.
He might get overnights sometimes but that’s okay
Him going and saying your unfit for working 2 job’s won’t fly by the judge.